Lost and Found
by Cecelia817
Summary: A Jerza. Jellal is spiraling into the realm of depression and heads with Ultear and Meredy to Fairy Tail. How will they help? (I really suck at descriptions, I am sorry. Please give it a shot, it definitely has Jerza, but it is full of angst, be warned)
1. Chapter 1

**Helloooo! 27kirune12, sorry this took so long! I didn't mean for it to drag out this long. I am indeed going to turn this into chapter thing, hehe. I'm not sure when I'll be able to update though, life and such. I hope you like it, and thanks for the request!**

**Enjoy, one and all!**

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Meredy and Ultear stared at the form under the blanket that was thrashing around wildly. They glanced at each other, both brows furrowed in worry.

"What do you think?" Ultear asked quietly. Meredy didn't say anything, her eyes turning back to Jellal. Without a word, Meredy hesitantly reached over, and gently shook Jellal's shoulder. Instead of waking him up though, he just started to thrash harder, as if fighting an invisible enemy. His brow was wet with sweat, and his face was contorted in pain.

Meredy tried to shake him harder, but to no effect. Not knowing what else to do, she pulled back her hand, and slapped him across the face. He started awake, sitting up as quick as a lightning bolt.

Ultear frowned in disapproval at Meredy, but she doesn't notice.

"Another dream?" Meredy asked hesitantly. Jellal stared wide eyed at her, his breath coming out in short gasps. He glanced at their surroundings. They were in a forest, in a small clearing. The moon hung low in the sky, and the stars looked dimmer.

Jellal ran a hand through his blue hair, as he swallowed nervously.

"Nothing worth talking about," he murmured. Ultear frowned at him. Something was happening to him, that much was obvious. It wasn't normal for him to act this way, so haunted. Sure, he had the normal worries and concerns practically everyone in the world did, but this was different. Lately, every night he was plagued with night mares, causing dark circles under his eyes. And though he was usually quiet and serious, now he was just plain gloomy.

Meredy shared the same concerns and she could only come up with one solution.

"Let's go to Fairy Tail," she announced. Ultear and Jellal both blinked in surprise, and then in confusion.

"What?" Ultear asked. Meredy leaned close to Ultear and whispered in her ear.

"I don't know what's going on with Jellal, but Fairy Tail always managed to cheer him up, and besides, Erza is there. She should know what to do," Meredy explained.

Ultear glanced at Jellal. Something she saw must have convinced her, because she nodded at Meredy. Ultear cleared her throat before turning to face Jellal fully, resting her hands on her knees.

"I agree with Meredy, were going to Fairy Tail." Jellal narrowed his eyes at the both of them.

"Why?" he asked. Before Ultear could come up with a good reason, Meredy popped in.

"Girl reasons," she said cheerily. Ultear rolled her eyes as Jellal went slightly red. Jellal sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"Fine," he said. "We might as well go now; it doesn't like I'll be getting any more sleep tonight." He stood from the ground and brushed off his black trousers. He started to roll up his sleeping bag, and Ultear and Meredy followed his lead.

"Alright," Jellal grunted, as he hefted his pack onto his shoulder. "Off to Fairy Tail."

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It took about two weeks to finally reach Fairy Tail. Crime Sorciere wasn't one to dawdle, but when they had decided to head to Fairy Tail, they had been at least three leagues away. They couldn't travel by train, as they were wanted fugitives, so they had to keep to walking on unpopulated trails. It more often than not, meant traveling through the woods.

Ultear glanced at Jellal, her eyes concerned. Jellal trudged ahead of them, his shoulders slumped. He hadn't been sleeping at all, and barely touched his food. Meredy was trying to constantly cheer him up, but to no avail.

They were walking the streets of Magnolia, headed towards Fairy Tail. Crime Sorciere had their hoods on the dark blue cloaks up to cover their faces. Meredy was humming as she skipped next to Ultear.

"I can't wait to see everyone," she said happily. Ultear smiled softly and nodded. They maneuvered their way through the crowd until they finally stopped in front of the looming building.

Fairy Tail almost looked like a castle, as its roof reached high to the sky, and it was full of colors, each bright and loud, matching the personalities of the guild members. They quickly walked up the steps and pushed their way through the doors. The guild turned to look at the new comers.

Erza paused from eating her cake and glanced up. Her eyes widened when she saw the clothing. Erza immediately stood and hurried over to them.

"It's good to see you!" she cried. Then she frowned, "Wait, what are you doing here?"

Jellal smiled tiredly at the red head. He pulled down his hood revealing his blue hair. The other two followed his example. Erza let out an exclamation of surprise when she noticed the dark circles under his eyes.

"Jellal, what happened?" she asked, her voice tense. She had to resist from reaching out and touching his haggard face. Jellal hesitated.

"It's been a long trip."

Erza frowned, and repeated her earlier question. "Why are you here?"

Meredy spoke up, "We just missed you all!" Master chuckled low in his throat as he walked up to the four.

"We missed you too," he said. "Welcome back, Jellal, Meredy, and Ultear. It has been a long time."

"Hello, Master," Ultear said, bowing her head respectfully. He smiled warmly at the dark haired girl.

"Though I am very happy to see you, I can't help but think that you being here puts you three at risk. Should you really be here?" he said.

"Its fine," Ultear said quickly. "In fact, I actually have something I need to talk to you about." Meredy glanced at Ultear, and Jellal frowned in confusion.

Master nodded and waved for her to follow him. Once they reached an empty corner, Master asked, "What is it, my dear?"

Ultear pressed her lips together before speaking.

"The truth is, we came here because of Jellal. He's been acting a little strange, almost like he's depressed. He hasn't been sleeping or eating. We came here in the hopes that the guild will help cheer him up. Is it alright if we stay here for a few days?" She took a breath. Master nodded grimly.

"I understand. You may stay in the back. There are rooms you can use. You can stay here as long as you need, Fairy Tail is always welcome to you three."

"Thank you, Master." Ultear bowed again.

He chuckled, "Think nothing of it. Just make sure that if you go out, don't take off your hoods. No need to attract unwanted attention." His eyes twinkled with amusement.

Ultear smiled. They quietly walked back to the others who had attracted a crowd. Meredy shot a questioning look at Ultear, who nodded at her in return. Meredy let out a breath of relief.

Natsu grinned at Jellal.

"Did you fight any powerful wizards out there?" he asked excitedly. Jellal smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Meredy cut in for him, while casting him anxious glances.

"Yeah, we fought this guy who had the power to control plants. He was pretty strong!" Meredy grinned.

Natsu smirked. "Bet I could have taken him, and beaten him easy."

Meredy looked offended. "Yeah right, in your dreams, flame-brain." Lucy laughed at the nickname.

"He does sound pretty tough, Natsu." Natsu scowled at her and grumbled something under his breath. Erza smiled.

"He sounds like an interesting opponent." Erza hadn't left Jellal's side since he had gotten here, and she kept a supporting hand on his arm. He looked like he was about to pass out.

Ultear noticed his state and said quickly, "Maybe we should rest; it's been a long trip." Erza nodded in agreement.

"I'll show you your rooms."

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**Comments, suggestions, reviews? Yes, no, maybe so?**

**Sort of short, sorry. If you have any thoughts, don't hesitate to review. I would love to hear your opinions, good or bad. I need to grow as a writer, so I need to know your thoughts. **

**This story was a request, I do take requests for stories. It can be whatever you want, different ships, different manga/anime/show/book etc. Just PM or review me with it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yes, this is short. There are a few reasons. First, I want to establish a basis for me to work from, and I don't like the idea of adding more after this, because I feel like it will downplay the crap that is running through his head. Jellal deserves your full attention at least. Second, it was a good place to end it. Third, I am lazy, plain and simple. Freakin' Valentine's Day guys. I posted this story 'Something Or Another' if your interested, it has a Jerza chapter and TONS of other ships on it. Anyway, enjoy. Should I really be saying that for this chapter...?**

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It was always the same. The same dream, nightmare, whatever you wanted to call it. It was always the same. He was lost, in the dessert, all alone. He would wander for what felt like hours until he finally came upon a small oasis. Without thinking about it he kneeled down to take a sip of the water but the moment he swallowed it pain so intense traveled through him. Poison. It was always poison. He would collapse into the sand trying desperately to throw up the water, but he couldn't do it. He could barely open his mouth. And then he would glance up. And standing in front of him was Ultear, Meredy, and Erza. Behind them was the rest of Fairy Tail, all staring at him with pain and desperation on their faces.

He couldn't speak though, everything was hard and stuck. Erza opened her mouth but instead of speaking she let out a blood curdling scream. The rest followed suit, and that was more terrifying then the poison rampaging through his body. That's when he noticed the blood that came out of their mouths and traveled down their necklines.

Then, one by one, they collapsed. When all of them were on the ground, he could still feel the accusing stares that they left. He was oblivious to the pain now though, his entire body cold and numb. And then the worst part came. The voice. It was always the same. Deep and clear like crystal clear water, except the water was tainted black.

"It's your fault their dead, you know," it whispered. Jellal didn't have to think to know that voice. He _knew it. _

Zeref.

He still couldn't speak though as the pain came and ravaged his body once again. Without meaning to he had started thrashing, trying to escape the confines of his body, of his mind.

"They may forgive you," it whispered, "but that means nothing when you can't forgive yourself."

And that's when he woke up.

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**Comments, suggestions, reviews? Yes, no, maybe so?**

**I love Jellal, sooo much. I mean, Jerza isn't my BIGGEST OTP, but I still love it. And Jellal is awesome. So :p But, this story is full of angst I am sorry to say, so I can't exactly make him as happy as I wish he was, so sorry. Anyway, I hope you liked. **

**Thanks for reading :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I suddenly had the strongest urge to write. And, I thought, what story have I mostly neglected as of late? This was the first that came to mind, though I do need to finish Broken, but oh well. Slightly longer then the first chapter, so yay! I promise to try and get them out faster. Valentine's Day is still occurring for me though, sadly. I have tons of other chapter to update... Ugh okay. Here you go!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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"Jellal?" she said hesitantly.

A small groan came from behind the closed door and her brow furrowed in worry. She heard a small cough and then a flush. Erza sighed in relief as he opened the door and leaned against the frame. At least he wasn't dead. He seemed pale, the red tattoo on his face making it more prominent. "Are you all right?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I am," Jellal said quietly, though he didn't quite look it. He had only been at Fairy Tail for three days, and though sometimes it looked like he was getting better, with his occasional smiles and laughs, there was still something haunted and dark lurking behind his eyes.

Erza noticed there was something different about him the second day he had been here. Jellal had always been quiet and calm but this was different. He was different.

"Okay," Erza said warily. Before he could protest, Erza reached up and pressed her hand onto his forehead. She frowned. He felt fine; perfectly normal, but that didn't explain why he had bolted to the bathroom earlier.

Erza had entered his room to wake him up and take him to breakfast. It was a small room with only a bed, desk, window, and connected to it was a bathroom. Ultear and Meredy shared a room down the hall. This was in the back of the guild. When Erza had come in he had been stirring restlessly in his sheets and when she had shaken him awake he took one look at her and dashed for the bathroom.

"I really am fine, I promise Erza," he assured her, gently pushing her hand away. Nodding and sighing simultaneously, she motioned for him to follow. She pretended not to notice his tired eyes and slumped shoulders.

When they arrived in the guild hall Meredy hurried over to them with a bright grin on her face.

"Natsu challenged me to a fight," she said cheerily. Erza raised her eyebrows in amusement. "He also challenged Ultear," Meredy added as an afterthought, "but she beat him in a matter of seconds. She wasn't in the mood I guess."

Erza's smile widened at the thought. Natsu still had a lot to learn.

"Interested in watching?" she asked, leaning forward. She mainly directed her attention to Jellal, hoping to spark some amount of interest in his eyes, but he only smiled faintly.

"Should be interesting," he murmured. Meredy's grin widened as she nodded vigorously.

"Let's eat first," Erza suggested. Erza glanced at Jellal, worried that he wasn't eating enough. And, of course, she was craving cake, despite the fact that it wasn't traditional breakfast food. Meredy followed behind as they walked to Mirajane who was talking to Wendy at the bar.

Wendy glanced up and her eyes brightened at the sight of Jellal.

"Good morning, Jellal!" she said. "It's nice to see you."

"Good morning," he murmured in response. "How are you and Carla?"

She grimaced and glanced at Carla who sat next to her. The Exceeds arms were crossed and she stared moodily at the wall opposite her. Wendy leaned forward and whispered, "I'm fine, but Carla and Happy had a fight. She has been in a bad mood ever since."

"Don't worry Carla," Meredy said, patting her on the head, "you'll make up soon." Carla sniffed in indignation.

"As if I would want to make up with that _male cat_," she snapped. Wendy sighed.

Erza waved for Mirajane's attention and ordered them breakfast. Once they sat down and ate from the plates Mira set in front of them (Mira was very quick when delivering food) Jellal began to eat his eggs after Erza and Meredy's constant urging and threats. Erza sighed happily as she bit into a piece of her strawberry cake.

Despite the fact that Jellal wasn't his usual self she couldn't help but feel a sense of calm and rightness settle over her as she sat next to Jellal. She felt warmth radiate from him sending the chills of the autumn away. Every time his arm brushed against hers she smiled secretly.

She really had missed him.

It didn't take long for them to hear a shout.

"You chicken out, Meredy?" Natsu shouted. Meredy swiveled in her stool and turned to glare at Natsu.

"Yeah right, hot head, like I'd ever chicken out." She rolled her eyes at him and turned back to her food. "Just let me eat first," she called around a forkful of hash browns. He snorted.

"Yeah right," he snorted.

"How stupid are you?" she snapped turning back to him. This time though she held in her hand her plate full of food and shoved it forwards for him to inspect. "Does it look like a lie?"

He eyed the contents of the plate with an air of indifference. "You had plenty of time to get food earlier," he pointed out. Meredy sighed and nodded at Erza and Jellal.

"I wanted to get those two love birds to watch the fight, so I was a little delayed."

Erza froze, her fork poised over the cake, ready to take another piece. Jellal blushed and ducked his head, refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

"Ah," Natsu said in understanding. His eyes glinted in mischief. He smirked at the two. "You lovebirds cause a lot of trouble, don't you?"

"W-we aren't love birds!" Erza protested. "I am not any type of bird in fact!"

Mira giggled from behind the bar, her eyes shining in triumph. "You're so cute when you're in denial, Erza," Mira said. Though her words seemed warm there was a strange air around her. Unconsciously Erza shifted away.

"I'm not in denial!" she cried. Jellal, by now, had turned as red as Erza's hair and was staring far too intensely at his barely eaten eggs.

"They're just teasing you, Erza," he mumbled quietly. "Calm down."

Immediately she relaxed at his words, until the first part of his explanation registered in her mind. She scowled fiercely at the three. Meredy and Natsu took a step back in fright but Mira's smile widened.

Jellal chuckled as he watched Erza chase down Natsu and punish him for his offense. In truth, this was the most light-hearted he had felt in a while. Being back in Fairy Tail gave him the feeling that he was home again and surrounded in warmth. It was almost like he was enveloped in others light.

But no, that wasn't right. He didn't deserve that. He knew that, and yet. And yet he was still here, smiling with his friends. And they smiled back. And they forgave him. It was enough to make him feel good, and happy. But that couldn't last for long, of course. Soon the darkness drew him back in and he heard the voice whisper to him from the far corners of his mind.

_"They may forgive you, but that means nothing when you can't forgive yourself."_

His eyes darkened. It was his fault for his depression and bad moods, he knew that. It was always his fault. They had forgiven him, he could see it in the way Erza smiled softly at him or how Ultear looked at him happily and when Meredy did her best to make him smile. But he couldn't forgive himself. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to. He had hurt his friends, killed Simon, and done so many other awful things.

He wasn't sure if he wanted anyone's forgiveness, and he knew he didn't deserve it.

But he still smiled the best he could when Erza glanced at him. Despite the darkness that clouded his heart, she was one of the one small shining lights that still resided there. He glanced at Meredy, and Ultear who had now joined them. They were there too.

That is why, when Meredy proclaimed she was done with her food, and announced to the guild that it was time for the fight, he smiled. And that is why, when Erza grabbed his hand and led him outside to the back of the guild and grinned excitedly at him- she had always loved fights- he forced his smile to widen.

She almost bought it.

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**Comments, suggestions, reviews? Yes, no, maybe so?**

**So, Jerza! Dudes, my glasses broke so it was kind of hard to type this, but I pushed through the pain! I should be getting new ones Friday (hopefully) *crosses fingers* Anyway, not on to the most depressing parts of this story, but I think I'm setting up a pretty good starting point for it to fully blossom (sorry Jellal), so what do you think? You might not think this, but your reviews mean a lot to me. They make my days a thousand times better then their usual crappy way. In fact, before I started writing this chapter, I looked at the reviews to encourage me on. So you know, review! ;)**

**I love you all so much, you are all so kind for your wonderful reviews! Thank you so much, it means a lot!**

**Have any ideas to add on? Thoughts on how to make it better? Ideas on how it might turn out? Just want to talk about it, or rant about the latest Fairy Tail chapter? Want to point out what I did wrong? Correct me? Please do! I love hearing from you all!**

**Thanks, hope you enjoyed! **


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